Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize