Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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