he thought i was a dude.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
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