there's paper in my vomit.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
