I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
a search helicopter?!
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
