Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
