It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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