He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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