she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize