I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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