Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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