we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
