i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
