if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Randomize
