I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
