I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
