the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
