he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Randomize
