Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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