Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
