mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Please, let me fuck your mom
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
