i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
