im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
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