We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
