Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
