There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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