dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
