i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Randomize
