Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
