Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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