You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
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