bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
