ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
