Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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