Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
