yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Randomize
