sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
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