even my farts smell like vagina
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
