Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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