We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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