would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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