If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
