Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
