How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Randomize
