its not stalking. its research.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
