Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
