Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Randomize
