take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
