the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
don't judge my taste in strippers
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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