quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
