It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
How drunk are you?
Completed.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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