fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I would ride that face into the sunset
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize