These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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