he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
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