And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
