What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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