dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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