Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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