yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I could fuck to npr.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
