maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Don't tell me you're on acid again
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
