I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Randomize
