We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I'm bleeding and have questions
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