just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
