Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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