So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
