You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
