i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
