i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
And then my night got REAL pukey
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
