Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I can't trust your balls anymore.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize