So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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