Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
