I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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