..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
