Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Randomize
