i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Randomize
