PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
