just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
