He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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