At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
