So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
