you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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