We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
