i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
My cat gives me a boner
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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