all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
