at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
He called his prostate his "boner button".
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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