ya dads aren't the best wingmen
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
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