So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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