just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
